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DeMarcus Cousins injury forces Warriors' return to center by committee

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Explore music. Nathaniel Bradbury. Niki May. Hannah Ross. Myles Braithwaite.

Lost Change and Loose Cousins by Aaron Saylor

Ian R Price. Connory Ballantyne. However, if, for a short time, your own pain and grief means you are unable to give the support to your other children that you want to, make certain there are other adults around them who will, until you are more able to spend time with them yourself. Losing a brother, sister or cousin is a deep and powerful loss. If adults around do not recognise this, a child or teen can feel an even greater sense of isolation.

They may feel they aren't wanted or are in the way. This can make their experience even more painful and may cause future emotional difficulties. They may push down their feelings so they can hide them, only to have them push their way out in other ways that can be very difficult, such as behavioural difficulties, relationship problems, comfort seeking risky behaviour such as drugs, alcohol, sex or an emotional breakdown. Every child and teen is different and it can help to know and understand some of the common reactions that children and teens of different ages may experience, and ways to help them through this time.

The death may mean your other children question their own health and safety, and they are likely to have questions about death and dying. Honestly answer questions and know that it is common for a bereaved child or teen to be anxious that other family members, or children they know, might die also, leaving him or her even more alone. It can be very confusing trying to figure out what your family is now — are you still a sister, brother or cousin to the child who has died?

How many will you say are in your family? These are painful questions but understandable, and important as a young person tries to make sense of how life will be like now. Talk together about these things.


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They can feel somehow that they caused the death. Or they can feel terrible about any arguments or fights they had had with the child who has died. They need to be reassured the death was not their fault and be given good information about why the death happened. They also need to be told that disagreements are a natural part of every family's life. This is a natural reaction after a long or stressful illness or injury, or after times within the family that have been really stretched, stressful and difficult.

Many parents and carers feel relief also. This never means the child who has died is not loved.

Helping your child after their sister, brother or cousin has died

It means that what's been coming has been so difficult, it feels better now it is over. Allow your child or teen to talk about true feelings, such as relief, without judgement. It is not uncommon for bereaved children to avoid going back to school. School requires energy, concentration, social effort, organisation and separation from others you want to be close to. For a bereaved child or teen, all these things can be extremely hard to manage.

Some may find school exactly where they want to be. Others won't. Or there may be a delayed reaction to school a week or two down the track. Be flexible and thoughtful as you work through this.


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Explain death honestly as part of life, so they come to understand it bit by bit. Using some examples in nature may be helpful, such as watching plants grow, bloom and die or seasons changing. Find ways to let your children or teens participate in things as much as possible, such as the planning of activities for a funeral, tangi or other memorial events, having their names in the newspaper death notice, making up a photo board or a memory scrapbook. Encourage ways to help them remember the brother, sister or cousin who has died — and to celebrate their life.

This can be an ongoing part of their lives, as they will always feel a bond or link with them — even after years. Their grief journey will slowly help them to realise their brother, sister or cousin has gone forever, but finding ways to remember them will help continue the special and precious relationship they have together.

Studies show bereaved children are significantly helped in this way. This happens as they journey through different milestones and develop as individuals. They may have questions about what has happened many months or years later. Be patient and understanding of this and answer them honestly. At any stage, if you feel concern about any particularly extreme reactions or behaviour changes you have noticed, contact your doctor, nurse or health centre, a counsellor, a social or community worker, a youth worker, or local family support agency, such as Skylight.

Sometimes children or teens may need a hand as they work through their loss. Help is available, so do ask. The content on this page has been developed by the Paediatric Society New Zealand in collaboration with Skylight. Skylight provides a national support service for New Zealand children and young people who are experiencing change, loss and grief - whatever its cause. Call free on or 64 4 Check out your local library for their suggestions of books about experiences of bereavement for your child or teen.

The Dougy Center, in the United States, has worked with many grieving children, teens and families. Their website offers helpful advice on how to help a grieving child or teen. Offers helpful information for parents and carers and for young people themselves after a family member has died. Free health advice www. Content endorsed by Paediatric Society of NZ.

Supported by Ministry of Health NZ. Supported by Starship Foundation. This page last reviewed 13 April Email us your feedback. Content is regularly updated so please refer to www. Skip to main content. Close main menu. Open main menu Close main menu. Search form. Hidden Submit Search. Helping your child after their sister, brother or cousin has died.

Adults can help show children and teens how to grieve The death of a brother, sister, or cousin may be a very painful and vulnerable time for children and teens. But I am grieving too! What if the grief of brothers, sisters or cousins is not noticed or goes unsupported? Every child and teen is different Every child and teen is different and it can help to know and understand some of the common reactions that children and teens of different ages may experience, and ways to help them through this time.

Brothers, sisters and cousins can have unique reactions Anxious and fearful The death may mean your other children question their own health and safety, and they are likely to have questions about death and dying. Confused It can be very confusing trying to figure out what your family is now — are you still a sister, brother or cousin to the child who has died?

Guilty They can feel somehow that they caused the death. Relieved This is a natural reaction after a long or stressful illness or injury, or after times within the family that have been really stretched, stressful and difficult. School refusal It is not uncommon for bereaved children to avoid going back to school. Ways to support their unique needs Talk about dying and death Explain death honestly as part of life, so they come to understand it bit by bit. Contact Skylight Skylight has some resources you may find helpful.

DeMarcus Cousins injury forces Warriors' return to center by committee

See the link to their website below. Involve your children Find ways to let your children or teens participate in things as much as possible, such as the planning of activities for a funeral, tangi or other memorial events, having their names in the newspaper death notice, making up a photo board or a memory scrapbook. Encourage memories Encourage ways to help them remember the brother, sister or cousin who has died — and to celebrate their life.

Acknowledgements The content on this page has been developed by the Paediatric Society New Zealand in collaboration with Skylight.


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