But to think thus is the fault and error of their thinking. Whenever and wherever we look at anything we find that it has thousands of wisdoms proper aims and that man can hardly comprehend even a few of them. Even the most trifling and ordinary atom is not without wisdom behind its creation. Then what to say about bigger and higher things! This hair and fingernail too are not aimless. For example, take the case of a fingernail.
One of the wisdoms behind its creation is that, despite it's being a short and apparently insignificant part of human body, it serves as a support for fingers. Whenever one wants to pick up something, it is only this fingernail, which enables the fingers to bear the pressure. Otherwise it was not possible to bear such crushing weight for the fleshy fingers.
That is why; if nails are drawn out from their base it will be difficult to lift things. What would then have happened had there been no nails at all? Moreover, these nails help us in scratching. Again, dirty and excessive matters within the body also go out through these nails.
That is why it has been ordered that nails must be cut at least once a week specially on Friday. Not a single strand of hair on our body is without wisdom or strategy. Imam Sadiq a. They do not know that those are the parts where excess and dirty impure or unclean body matter concentrates. Was that dirt not to be driven out through hair human body would become ill and diseased. If man ponders deeply he will realize that all the elements of the world of creation are full of wisdom and strategy.
Why, after all, had God created it? Despite using all medicines in his expert knowledge no remedy worked on that trouble. Other doctors also tried in vain. It is very effective for the illness of eyes. He asked how the pill was prepared. She said it was a paste having cow dung beetle as one of its ingredients. Not even a single particle in the world of existence is created without any wise aim. Can then the entire universe be aimless at all? In the human body, even a nail and a hair are not without utility. Can then the whole human body have been created without any aim or intention?
All modern day scientists are unanimous in their opinion that they have not been able to comprehend all the wisdoms and strategies behind all the things in this world. Only God knows how many new and astonishing things will come to light in future. About half a century ago, people in Europe were of the opinion that in our body at the end of intestines there is an extension called appendix; that it is of no use.
So, many healthy persons got it removed. But soon thereafter they were to realize that they were wrong. So, they announced that healthy persons should not remove it because now they had come to understand that the said extension was a sort of alarm. When much impurities pile up in intestines, this extension exudes pain thus cautioning them before the impurities could havoc. So, the patient becomes alerted and resorts to remedy. It is also possible that it may have other benefits too which have not yet come to our notice despite research and about which we may know in the days and years to come.
In human mouth not a single tooth is void of usefulness. The job of the molars cannot be performed by canines. Not a single bone out of the in human body is useless, that is, if even one of them is missing, and it renders the whole body defective. Similar is the case with veins, nerves and fats etc. Can then the entire body be ever void of utility and wisdom behind it? After recognizing the creator of the universe as most wise and after realizing that even the tiniest atom is not useless here, it is now our duty to try to understand the wisdom and aim behind the great creation.
We see how many benefits we derive from various kinds of innumerable stones, vegetables and animals. The clouds, wind, moon and sun all are busy in their duties so that, O Man! You may get bread and do not eat it unheeding. All these are busy, worrisome and obedient to you. Is it, then, not very unjust that you do not obey the commands of your Lord? Is the aim of man's creation only this worldly and material life? Is there nothing after death? Are we to be totally and suddenly annihilated? If it is taken for granted that the only aim of human life in this universe is eating, drinking, resting and pleasure-hunting to gratify passions, lust, greed and desires and had it been so that man would not ever taste what is pain, trouble and difficulty and grief and sorrow throughout his life then, in that case, also the creation would have been aimless.
The reason for this conclusion is that even though the said life is full of pleasure and happiness it is yet unreliable and untrustworthy because, after all, it is passing and it is bound to end one day. So it is unthinkable that such a wide and huge universe should be for anything, which is to perish while human life is, from it's beginning to end, full of different kinds of difficulties, troubles, pains and sorrows.
I have seen in this world only one person called 'happy' Aasoodeh. But then, it was only his penname. You will not find any man in this world who has no worries. If he has no worry then he is not the son of Adam. The fact is that, if man is to perish after his death and if his life is limited only to this world of matter which is made up of various kinds of sorrows, physical and spiritual and mental troubles, sufferings, mischiefs, fornications, usurpations, illness of children, death of progeny, separation from friends then this life is totally senseless and void of wisdom.
In that case the creation of human beings in the world would be like an example in which, suppose, a generous man invites guests in a house which has all kinds of harmful animals like tigers, leopards, wolves snakes, scorpions and wasps. And when the guest arrives he may be served with eatables in that very horrible house, but any morsel taken by him is accompanied by the stings of several troublesome and poisonous insects. Not only this, there also may be some attackers with swords in their hands ready to attack that guest even before he completes his feast and thereafter nothing at all!
Just say, is there any use of such a feast? Is it not a futile endeavour? What can be surmised from the above discussion is that, for man, another life or world will surely arrive in which all of his pleasures and joys will be available. It is absolutely essential that he a good man or woman must get a joy and relief and comfort which has no pain with it and also an everlasting happiness which must not be followed by any trouble, grief or sorrow. The deserving persons must get comforts which should never end. Very happy will be the day when I will walk away from the passing world for finding out peace for soul and to meet the beloved.
Persian Couplet. So it has been established from viewpoint of logic and reason and it is now realized that God Almighty has created man for eternal and everlasting happiness.
Events on the Day of Judgment (part 1 of 3): The Day Begins
He has detained man for a little temporary period so that he may prepare to be eligible for the sure and permanent life, which is full of joys and bounties. God has given him two wings of knowledge and action with which he may fly high to gain extreme heights in the eternal realm. The fact is that if man turns towards his God-given mind and nature and thinks deeply he will very soon find that there can be a doubt in each and every possible thing but there is no room for any doubt at all in the belief in God, His creation and the Hereafter, eternal life after death and reward or punishment in the everlasting Hereafter.
Of course, some people, because of their drowning in desires and constant engagement in material affairs and continuous commitment to sins have disfigured their nature thereby falling in doubt about the above-mentioned doubtless matters. So the verdict of reason has established that there is an aim, utility and wisdom behind the creation of the earth, the sky and each and every part of the human body which will be known to him on the day when he will have to leave this material world.
On the basis of all this, the coming of another world or realm is a must after the end of this world. While describing the attributes of the Lord Almighty during the discussion of the Oneness of the Creator of the Universe, we have said that God is Just and so He has provided each and every essential thing for everything and every being, without being requested. We were nonexistent and we never requested to come into existence. But the Mercy and Kindness of the Merciful Lord even hears our unsaid pleas. One of the demands of God's justice is to give reward to those good people who, as we see, passed their whole lives in obedience, worship and piety but, in this world of ours, they got no reward in proportion with their labours and hardships.
Likewise, the Just Lord's attribute of Justice also demands that He should punish offenders who, as we see, have indulged in various mischiefs and conspiracies and devastating corruption but no punishment is or has been given to them in this world. They pass away from this world continuing their offences and sins. Often it also happens that mischievous offenders live easy and luxurious lives whereas good people live in difficulties.
We also see how much cruelty man shows towards man. They loot one another's property; kill one another and trample others' honour under their feet. Since God Almighty is Just, certainly a day will come when everyone will get his due based on his good or bad deeds. Right of everyone will be restored to him or her. Good people may get rewards and evil ones may get chastisement so that His justice is manifested. All the Messengers and Prophets who were most true in the entire universe and whose word is an exhaustive argument for us have given the news that Qiyamat will surely come.
Pious and religious minded people belonging to every religion and sect believed in life after death. In fact religion is based only on two principles: Origin and returning to life. And all the religions and faiths are unanimous about the aforesaid two principles of Origin and Hereafter.
In short, not one or two but thousands of true announcers have given the news of the arrival of the Day of Judgement.
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So also logic demands it must be accepted, understood and believed that the Day will certainly come. As said earlier, the issue of resurrection is not against logic. Whenever mind thinks about it, it says that it is a 'possibility or a likely' thing. Moreover, all the true informers whose number is one lakh twenty-four thousand Messengers and Prophets and so also all of their legatees have said so and the word of each and everyone of them is sufficient for the intellect to accept.
Some ill informed persons have tried to create a doubt that coming back of a perished thing is impossible. They say how is it to appear again? But they have no proof argument in support of this claim. The only word which they have with them is 'necessity'. Taking support of this word they say our argument in this matter is the said necessity. In any case, if anybody puts forth a logical argument, our reply is as given earlier. First, we put forth the words of Khwaja Nasiruddin Tusi. He says: In Qiyamat, there is no returning of a perished thing.
It is, rather, the reconnection of separated and scattered elements. The explanation of this word is that the body was a mixture and collection of many atoms and elements. After death it got scattered in different particles. When Qiyamat will occur, all of these scattered particles will, by the Command of God, rejoin one another. Thus it is understood that Resurrection is not the return of perished things. Apart from this, this issue is also not an agreed one. Secondly, for the existence of anything, the possibility of the existence of something similar to it is the best and greatest argument or proof.
Every man should think over the earlier condition of his body. He will know that in the beginning there were many innumerable particles including dust, air, and some were mixed with air in atmosphere. With God's imperative power they came together, and took the forms of various different things like food articles, vegetables, seeds, grains, fruits and animals etc.
All these things, after getting down the throat of a father entered his stomach and, for a second time, scattered in the forms of the limbs of the father. Then at the time of passion or sexual arousal the substance which was made up of all digested materials and which contained the essence of all useful eatables and had taken the form of semen, got dragged from all parts of the body and jumped out of his sexual organ and settled in the womb of a mother. This is why it is obligatory to wash each and every part of the human body while taking the post-coital bath.
It is because the semen was drawn from all body. In short, everybody was, in the beginning, in different forms of separate elements. God collected them in one substance, first in the hearts of earth dust , water and air,. After seeing and knowing about the said separation and recollection on two occasions, is there anything which cannot be believed if it is said that in the grave, for the third time, after the decomposing of body and scattering of body particles, the said elements will be recollected for the third time too?
You have known about the first worldly creation and the first birth, then why do you not, O man! Recollect that you were dust, Our Hand of Power collected you, that you became a part of the father's body in the form of edible matter, then, after these parts were scattered in the father's different body organs, We recollected you, that is, after ejecting you in the form of semen made you enter your mother's womb.
You have already seen this scattering and recollection in the worldly life. Now, even after this observation, why do you get astonished when you are told that We will after the scattering your body particles throughout the universe, recollect them for the third time too?
On several occasions the dead do come to life in this world also. Just look at the vegetable world. You observe in the spring season that trees become alive after their death due to drying up. They once again get a fresh spirit or life. The earth, which had died, also becomes alive. On a number of occasions a dead man has also become alive again. People who had died had come to life through Isa Jesus, a.
So Allah caused him to die for a hundred years, then raised him to life. The summary, cause of revelation and explanation of this verse is that Uzair was one of the Prophets in Bani Israel. He had memorized the whole Torah by heart and also was a leader and teacher of Jews in Jerusalem. Once he was travelling on his donkey. He had some bread and few grapes with him. When he reached a village wherein all its residents had died years ago and there was no sign of their life except their worn and torn bones.
Uzair threw a glance full of gloom and astonishment at those bones and exclaimed: How will God turn these torn and worn bones into living beings again? This statement of Uzair was only by way of wonder. He never doubted God's might and never denied Resurrection. The Lord of the Universe, in order to make Uzair a.
So Uzair a. The bones of his ass decayed. Of course what was wonderful to human eye was that grapes were fresh and sweet despite passing of such a long time. There was no change even in their colour! God made Uzair a. Just look at your food. It has not at all decayed or deteriorated. But look at your donkey. Its bones have become rotten. Now you see what happens before your eyes and realize the Might of your Lord. Uzair a. The donkey soon got up.
So understand that God is able to do everything. When Uzair a. The city had been totally altered. None of the people known to him was found there. In a very astonished state of mind he knocked at the door of his house. There is no trace of Uzair for the last one hundred years. Have you any of his signs of identification?
Pray to God so that I may regain my eyesight. Then both described what had happened during the past years. All understood what had happened and the story became a reminder for all. I want to see how You make the dead alive, so that my heart may get satisfaction. Slaughter them and dissect their bodies into pieces and mix up their pieces of all of them with one another.
Then make four heaps of the said mixed up meat and put one heap each on four different hills. Then call up each one of the birds by their names. Every one of them will fly and come to you within no time. Show me how Thou givest life to the dead, He said: What! He said: Yes, but that my heart may be at ease. He said: Then take four of the birds, then train them to follow you, then place on every mountain a part of them, then call them, they will come to you flying; and know that Allah is Mighty, Wise. It is mentioned in the commentary that Ibrahim a.
Then he saw that the body particles dissected portion began to join with one another and to reform the bodies as they were re-assembled the head-less birds flew speedily towards their heads in the hands of Ibrahim a. In order to check the accuracy, Ibrahim a. All the four birds thus became alive.
It is likely that some may think how many forms due to change might have been taken in the scattered particles of a dead body. How then it is possible for them to reassemble as before? But such thinking is only the result of ignoring the all al-ncompassing power of Almighty God. When we have learnt in the discussion about God's Oneness that God's knowledge covers everything and that not a single particle from the particles of each and everything is beyond His knowledge.
He also has power of everyone and everything. After this there is no scope at all for any doubt about the fulfilment of His Wish. It is true that a dead body, after a long time, becomes scattered and also emanates foul smell and also becomes the food of ants and many other insects and that even if it does not go in the stomach of any animal it does turn into dust which also is swept far and wide by winds. Then it becomes the ingredients of wheat, barely, seeds and vegetables or is used up in house building materials. In any case it still remains in this world and by no means goes out of the all al-ncompassing Knowledge of God.
Then, at His Will, Almighty Allah recollects and reassembles them from wherever they may be and in whichever form they may be rather they themselves get remixed at God's Command. We have seen this in the story of Ibrahim a. It is mentioned there that, as ordered by God, Ibrahim a. Then dividing the mixed meat into four heaps, he placed those heaps on four hills…. In short, Almighty Allah knows each and every particle in the universe His creation even if they have changed forms on thousands of occasions.
Likewise, He is also able to reassemble them and to take them to the station place of either reward or punishment. To show the Might of Allah and in order to prove that He can do whatever He likes and that He can do everything, we give below some examples as testimony to this truth. The trees named Markh and Aqaar are such that if a branch is torn off from any of the two, waters, drips therefrom.
One of the two is masculine and the other feminine in nature. Water drips from both. But when one is brushed against the other, it gives out fire. These two trees are considered very important in the Arabian Peninsula. In olden times there were no matchboxes. People used to ignite fire with the help of the branches of these trees.
How wonderful that if they remain apart they give out water but if they are brushed against one another they give out fire! How these two opposites are placed in one and the same thing? If it is wet and has not yet become dry it should not emanate water. Scholars of science say that except the tree of Unnab, there is hidden fire in every other tree. Then cannot such Mighty and Powerful creator reassemble a dead body and put soul life in it again? And he strikes out a likeness for Us and forgets his own creation. Says he: Who will give life to the bones when they are rotten?
He was pressing and crushing it with his hand. O the one who takes such objections! You were nothing. God brought you into being after you were nothing; from non al-xistence to existence. Say O Messenger! Only He will make them alive, Who had created them first. He has knowledge of every creation. You also were nothing before and now you are something.
The same powered elements of human body of faithful persons are like particles of gold, distinct from all other particles. When it rains, it sweeps aside the particles of dust and golden particles begin to shine out. Here there is no room for doubt. The elements of everybody's will be re-assembled by Almighty Allah through His Command. As we have described in the story of Ibrahim a. Then he mixed their minced meat so that it could not be separated from one another. Then, as per a narration, made seventeen heaps of it and put them at seventeen places on different hills.
Then he took the head of dove in his hand called it out. In response, all the particles of its meat flew from every station and re-assembled to form the body as it was before being slaughtered and then it joined with its head. Then Ibrahim a. Ibrahim a. One's head was not being joined with another's body. In short, there is no chance of any error in the knowledge of God.
To create the skies and the earth, to fix separate orbits for the rotation of each of them, and to arrange their affairs etc are works, which are greater and more complex than the creation of man. Now what is to be seen is that the One who created skies will He not be able to create a man again and to take account of his deeds? As and when He will wish, the Qiyamat will come up instantly.
The moment Allah wishes all will become alive. If intelligence tells that there is a likelihood of harm at a certain place something must be done which can avoid or remove that harm. For example, while passing through a forest or path there is a danger of a carnivorous animal or of bandits or thieves who can harm our lives and or property then, even if this possibility is not certain, reason demands that we should not take that path and go by any other avenue where there is certainty of safety.
Of course, such harms can also be of various degrees and kinds. For instance, if the danger is about falling down due to rough roads then man does not pay much attention to it. But if there is a danger of jumping over a pass, which can risk life, then surely it is a very serious matter. Then how dangerous and risky it would be to cross the bay of hell? So it is absolutely essential to take utmost care for avoiding every likely danger. Even the slightest possibility of a great harm makes it compulsory to take defensive steps.
Here is an example for further clarification. If a child tells you that there is a scorpion under your clothes and that it is crawling upwards.
You do not know anything. We cannot believe you? You will never say so because there is a likelihood of a great harm. What is more important is a scorpion, not a straw or a stalk. You will, at once, take off your shirt and try to find out the scorpion even though you had no certainly of its presence.
There was merely a likelihood or possibility. Yet intelligence says that such possibility is worth taking cognisance. Or for example, you want to proceed on a journey. Someone tells you that you will not get any water anywhere on this route. The demand of intelligence then is that you should keep a container full of water with you.
Now, if you get fresh water on your way, you will throw away the old water and fill up your container with fresh water. By so doing you will suffer no loss and save yourself from the possibility of remaining thirsty. But, if thinking that this is merely a possibility, you did not take water with you and found no water enroute then you will have to die of thirst and you will get nothing except grief and sorrow.
All of your words and deeds are being constantly and instantly being recorded. God has appointed two angels for every person. Whatever good or bad you do, they note it down:. Suppose even if you are not sure about the coming of Qiyamat or of the Day of Judgement Resurrection , if you have any brain, your intelligence will call upon you to take precautionary action and to be cautions. There is indeed a possibility of Qiyamat if not certainly. So, responding to this demand of reason, do not oppress anyone, do not be unjust towards anybody, and do not attack anyone's honour.
I would now like to give some admonition and give a logical argument about Resurrection to make one understand that it is the demand of reason and logic to put faith in Resurrection. And if what you say denial of Hereafter and accounting is true, though it is certainly not true, even then both of you the believers and the unbelievers will be on an equal footing.
You have seen that in this tradition Imam a. This is the minimum argument. Otherwise there must be certainty of belief about the Day of Judgement. Doubtfulness or hesitation is not at all enough, not even mere imagination. We hear news about Qiyamat but imagine that it is an ordinary matter, though we give much importance to this world, the same world which the Lord Creator of the Universe has termed a 'plaything':.
Doubtlessly Qiyamat is very great. It will be the Day when all the first and last earlier and latter human beings will be made to assemble. Such a huge gathering will be such that in it, everyone will be worrying about his or her result consequences of deeds before death. All will be weeping and wailing save a few about whom we shall talk later on. History of Islam has recorded him as one of the greatest warriors in a number of battles.
Once, when he was a polytheist, he visited the Holy Prophet. The Holy Prophet s. What is the great fright? I am so tough-hearted that nothing can frighten me. It is not so, as you imagined. It will be a tremendously frightening sound, which will make all the dead alive and make the entire living die, except those whom God wishes that they should not die. Then again there will be terrible roar which will make all the dead stand and line up.
The sky will be fragmented. All the mountains will break up and become scattered. Thus there will be no living being whose heart will not be palpating due to fear, remembering the sins committed by it. All will be worrying only about their own selves except those whom God wills that they may not become restless. O Amr! What do you think? In short, the Holy Prophet described the frightening events of Qiyamat in such a manner that the whole body of Amr began to tremble.
On that day, wherever will a man look he will see only frightening things. The condition of this earth will be totally changed. In addition to all that we have said earlier, the ground of Resurrection will also become alive and intelligent. It will remain stable, calm and wise under the feet of the believers but, the same ground will turn into a burning piece of land under the feet of an unbeliever and will be red hot, giving out flames.
No curtain or barrier will be seen over there, no tree or a mountain. Everyone will look at one another. All will be human beings but their faces will be changed. In this world all are alike but on the Day of Judgement, they will take shapes and forms according to their deeds before death. God Almighty will cut all those ten from the Muslims. He will change theirs faces and appearances. Some will come in the shape of monkeys, some in the form of swines, hands and legs of some will be cut off, and some will be blind, some deaf and dumb.
One of those groups will arrive in the grand field chewing their own tongues, dirt dripping from their lips the bad foul of which will make all restless. One group will arrive upside down and will get punishment in the same position. One group will be hanging on branches of fire. One group will be spreading an obnoxious and foul smell, which will be worse than that of corpses. One group will be wearing shirts made of Qitraan, which will stick to their bodies.
They create enmity between two parties and carry one's talk to the other, and make them quarrel. For example, who give in trade or business or bargaining less then due, who are dishonest in their dealings with others and who mix up bad things with good to earn unlawfully and who usurp the properties of others. Those who will arrive on their heads will be eaters of interest, the usurers.
Those who will be chewing their own tongues will be the scholars who did not act according to what they taught to others, whose deeds were different from their words. They had given many sermons but never acted accordingly. Others had benefited from their advices and admonitions but they themselves had remained unfortunate and unlucky. Such scholars will chew their own tongues and will worry very much but to no avail. Those who will come blind were oppressive rulers who did not do justice.
Who were proud and self-centred will come dumb and deaf. Those who were putting innocent people to trouble by reporting falsely against them before rulers will be clinging to branches of fire. Foul smell will emanate from those who were gratifying their passions by resorting to unlawful sexual pleasures and also those who did not pay poor tax Zakat or purifying deductions. Those who were making a show of their pomp by wearing clothes of pride will be, on that Day, wearing shirts of fire. It is mentioned in another tradition that there will also be some people with rods of fire in their eyes.
They will be those who were casting their lustful eyes starring at prohibited men and women. His body will be spreading obnoxious and foul smell, which will be worse than any dead body's smell. All in the gathering will understand that this fellow was a drunkard in his worldly life. Everyone passing by him will curse him. The singers and musicians will have their music instruments in their hands, which will be hitting their heads. On that Day everyone will be recognized by his condition as to what he was in the world. In the aforesaid book it is also mentioned that some people will arrive with faces looking worse than the faces of monkeys and pigs.
These animals will seem good looking compared to them. How will they walk on their heads? The fear and fright of that terrible Day will make hearts jump from their chests and to stick to their throats. They hearts will neither go back to their original place so that they may feel ease nor they will jump out so that life may end and one may feel freed.
On that Day people's hearts will be full of worries and sorrows. In short, the fear of that Day will make hearts jump from their chests and they will be sticking to throats and block the passage of breathing. Lord Almighty has repeatedly warned of such a fear some day and also said that, on that Day, a brother will run away from his brother and hide his face from him. Man will keep distance from his own parents too and so also from his family members. In this Holy verse the Lord of the universe has described the frightful condition of man saying that the terrific fright will disrupt even the closest relations like that between man and wife, father and children and brothers and sisters.
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Poem of the week: Kaddish. Poem of the Week: Pledge. Brought to Book. Women writers Putting Irish women writers back in the picture. Sign In. You would feel it was unfair and hurtful, right? There is a saying: "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle you know nothing about". These are words to live by. In my youth I was honestly a little judgmental. Then I went through some life crisis' and realized that if I live in a glass house I shouldn't be throwing stones. I am not judgmental now - my motto is "live and let live". Decisions made by an individual may be right for them and not necessarily suit others but we cannot judge their decisions, we're not in their shoes.
I give advice when asked, I don't jump in anymore. I now live in peace, calm and serenity well most days lol!!! If no-one ever judges anyone, who will stand up to abusive people? If you do not let others know when they are being disrespectful towards you, will not a lot of people see it as weakness, and be primed to continue the abusive behaviour? Let me say that we are all judgmental, yes even me but it is rare. I believe it's human nature but I don't think it's always useful. I've stood up to abusive people without being nasty or judgmental and I do not tolerate a lack of disrespect either, never have but all this can be done without being judgmental.
As for people who are selfish or unreasonable, I leave them in my dust because I won't associate with negative people. You can have a strong character, be courageous, kind, thoughtful without all the negativity that some thrive on. It's taken me years but I try not to pass judgment and if I find myself being judgmental, I stop myself.
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This takes a heightened awareness but it is possible. When behavior that is unacceptable or hurtful towards us is happening, we don't need to judge that person. We need to be assertive in setting boundaries with true consequences. Setting boundaries is based in what we need to keep ourselves safe mentally, emotionally and physically, as such setting boundaries is not about judging the other person, it is about determining what behavior we will and will not accept in our lives.
If the behavior is not happening to you, then perhaps a discussion with the person it is happening to about setting boundaries may be appropriate but quite frankly, in that situation there is little you can do. Even when a 3rd party steps in to remove a person from their abuser, often it doesn't stop because they simply return to their abuser as soon as that 3rd party can no longer hold them apart. Setting boundaries to reject those who are negative is double standard.
You have ultimately judged them they are negative people! How do you know what psychological issues they are experiencing but they aren't aware, yet you judge them. What a hypocrite! If you see someone and you make a judgement call that that individual is being abusive physically or emotionally, yes, at some point your judgement needs to kick in. And you act. Judgement is not a one dimensional objectivity. Judgment is a multi-layered level of experience you have acquired in which you have perceived and processed; hopefully, in a mindful way amidst the multi shades of life.
Unfortunately, all of us are scarred by our own subjective experiences and it is almost impossible to be purely objective with anything we see. So being mindful of that fact will help your objectivity. I just have a problem with people that like me then turn around and don't like, my cousin who was in the military that i have not seen in a while having fun and just talking i asked him in your on opinion what do you don't like about me i know this is odd comming from two males, and he studdard as if he was thinking of something to say then what came out was i hate that high squeek in your voice when you talk and i go ha that it's just a habbit that i can't control also i have sinus infection which i never went to the doctor for.
These are some of the things i have to go through on a daily basis i get on the bus and put on my earphones listen to some music and someone would look at me mean because i don't dance to the music or rock my head hey i just like to listen until i reach my destination.
When i feel talkative to ask a woman out on a date they say no i don't like you then the same woman turn around and cuase trouble when i don't want to talk then it's a crime that i'm not talking, i get people bothering me without me bothering them as if i have a target on my back or forhead that says pick with this guy and hate him or he looks like a weirdo and stupid looking these are the reason i am going through a period of social anxiety i don't even go around family anymore like i use to because it seems as everyone just opt me out of everything so i just keep to myself now.
If for no other reason than "karma", it's easier to sleep at night if you can feel equal to everyone. There have been many overconfident people in history who went from being judgmental and unforgiving to incapacitated from a car wreck or other trauma. There's a caveat for 2. For example, if a parent or other caregiver deliberately neglects or abuses a child, how will that person see the need to change, if members of society withhold disapproval? Appropriate judgement has its place. It sounds like there is some confusion between saying a person is good or bad value judging and allowing harmful or threatening behavior or neglect of dependents to continue.
I felt sick to my stomach tonight because my husband stole my trust. I am a mother of 2, childcare provider, part-time student. My husbands father tried to tell me I have a wonderful life working so hard when frankly it is to have fluff in our life. I want the memories and family. I can care less of the materials.
Long story short he judged me. My father inlaw compared my work to his wife that only when to school full-time. In my heart I stuck to these guidelines you mention, but I was in flames after that conversation. I could see where my husband has learned his sick ways. Yet I heard my husband say yeah but your employees ran the show when you were gone.
Thank you for restating what I have already know. It validated what I have been working so hard to stop. I just wish I had the tools to twist those negative and judgmental words so he can see the hurt. Though I can agree with some aspects of the article, I cannot say I fully agree. To say we should not judge is a fixed opinion. A fixed opinion is a judgement.
As children we judge the foods we like, and those we don't. They are not always good judgements for we often choose the comfort foods, the addictive sweeties. Judgement is often part of a decision making process. And so maybe it is all about learning to make good judgements in loving and compassionate ways.
To not be unfair about our judgement, for judging someone for something they cannot change are an unfair judgement that leaves them helpless. Judging too quickly is is one dimensional, so we should be slow to judge, and be patient. Being fixed in our judgment is narrow and judgemental, and not judging at all is dangerous. So it is about learning to judge fairly after making sure your own eyes is clean, so that your judgement do not come from your own selfish esteem or ego. It is judging kindly and in love, and not in a condemning way.
Where we are sure it can bring change. And to accept what we cannot change, and to ask for the wisdom to know the difference. It is to not judge the person with his deeds, but rather just the deeds, and to encourage the person. It is dangerous to not have discernment and to not judge the fruits of someone's life that does not refer to achievements, rather to spiritual fruits of love, patience, kindness, discipline to others.
Though we were all created of equal importance, we are not all alike or act alike. We do not all love our families alike. Some people are mostly lovers of themselves, or pities themselves which causes a form of narcissism and selfishness - which can hardly be called self love. We are meant to have a positive and shaping effect on each others lives, and not to be uninvolved.
It is called healthy relashionships. We live in a society where those that lives however they like in selfish and inconsiderate manners hides behind the words: don't judge me. It makes it very hard for those that tries to lives in peace and love, because now they are no longer allowed to confront something for else it is judgement or disturbs the so-called peace. But not being able to confront something in a loving and compassionate way possible can lead to total war, for the bullies way must then become everyone's way.
The one who are willing to rally power and not play by the rules of love then become the bureaucrat, and don't you dare judge or confront, for it will disturb the peace - this is hardly peace. I know generally people struggle to change and do not know that they are hurting others. But I have seen where people know they hurt others, but persist, because it benefits them. Of cause this is another form of blindness, but this blindness needs to be healed. And confrontation and healthy judgement is necessary for this.
Sure we should try and first get the wrong out of our own eyes and investigate our own hearts in the matter. But one simply cannot ignore wilful harmful behaviour in the name of compassion and make as though all is alike in this matter. I understand disabilities plays a huge role, I suffer from a few disabilities myself, but also had to learn to really try and still be considerate to people even if I am in terrible pain and frustrated. I don't always succeed, and sometimes I behave like a bitch, but I try my best, and it takes practice.
Sure, someone who committed murder should not be called a murderer. We should not make him his action. But knowing that this was one of his actions I think also have importance. Else we suffer from a naive ignorant society that can cause that those that are more vulnerable such as children and the sick becomes victims and those that are oppressing and domineering. We should also be aware of what people are battling with to be able to be helpful and not cause another temptation or stumbling block. A society that claims nothing is good nor evil, when we know that acting without love can destroy so many, will suffer unnecessarily.
Then, to one of the comments. It is hard to understand how we can say not to judge people, but in the same breath say that we should make negative people part of the dust - I find this even worse. This is like speaking death over them - dust to dust. So we cast them out of the cities? Discipline and boundaries is by far a better tool and I think the form of rejection suggested is worse than a healthy form of judgement. Furthermore being positive is increasingly associated with pretentious smiles opposing to being loving, considerate, peaceful and truthful human beings.
And so someone in pain can often be wrongly judged as negative, not considering their afflictions is part of the broken world that we are all baring. That is most certainly a terrible way to judge. Rather discern lie from truth, and love from selfishness. I found this article when I was trying to figure out why so many people think they can tell me how I should eat to lose weight. It really hurts and I feel they that most people don't have a clue how to eat well. I know I'm fat. I was young and beautiful once. I remember how that feels. But now I'm old and fat.